The 1980’s have given us many fond memories and most of these have been immortalized by the mass commercialization of that hair sprayed decade that brought us John Hughes popcorn yarns, the power ballad, and of course, aliens. Skinny, gray colored aliens with the big wraparound sunglasses, err, eyes, who seemed to be dividing their time between zipping around and abducting people in their pajamas or trying to figure out how to make a cheeseburger out of a cow, were, rather sadly, the most consciousness stretching topic on anyone’s sparkled and glossy lips. Well today, when VHS players, Reeboks, and fluorescent colored Gap wear are only seen in photos taken with your fluorescent colored disposable camera, those almond eyed aliens are only seen lining the shelves of a novelty store in the form of campy tee-shirts, posters, blowup dolls, and lunch boxes. But where have all our gray skies gone?

Turns out our gray friends are an extremely intelligent race of beings from the Zeta Reticuli Star System, and although they had a hankering for sharing their Zen-like philosophies with their pajama clad study groups, they did not quite practice what they preached. Lacking the emotional resources to successfully ascend with the rest of the universe in 2012, they launched an agenda to create a hybrid race which would retain the Zeta’s immense intelligence and also gain the emotional essences to enable the story of their people to continue. Well, if you’re looking for a rodeo you visit Texas, and if you’re looking for a being with a lot of emotion you visit Earth. (I sincerely understand how a race would wish to perpetuate their legacy and share with other races all they have learned throughout their journey. Their actions in this pursuit, however, cannot be condoned in anyway. Other methods to assist the Zeta’s could have been implemented, but this would not have fit in with the plans of Earth’s ruling oligarchs who chose instead to betray Earth’s citizens in a backroom and very shady deal. This is one of the many crimes against the people the soon- to- be unemployed world controllers will have to answer for in the days ahead.) 

Today the Galactic Federation Fleets are here and our visitors from Zeta Reticuli are not, and you may be quite certain that one’s arrival facilitated the other’s departure. The point of our journey today down memorabilia lane is that soon we will be reuniting with our cosmic families of light of the Galactic Federation. If you are looking forward to having your 6 foot tall blow up alien that’s been sitting in the corner of your bedroom partially deflated for over 20 years signed by a real alien from Zeta Reticuli, you can forget it. The gray skies have cleared up, and although there are a few members of the Galactic Federation that resemble the aliens plastered all over billboards and gift shops in Roswell, New Mexico, we will not be able to ask our former house guests what in the world they had against all those cows in Montana anyway.